The questions and answers presented in this section were developed by talking with many cancer care professionals, parents with cancer, and their children. These questions cover a wide range of topics, including: talking with your children; understanding your children's reactions; dealing with special issues.

The goal of this section is to help you think about how to talk with your children about your cancer and to increase your ability to help your children cope with the normal stresses of parental illness.

One of the main goals of our program is to help you think about which coping strategies may work best for you and your family. The answers provided serve as general explanations. There is no one right answer to any of these questions.

Many of the questions give separate answers for children of different ages. This will help you think about what children of different ages need to understand about each issue.




Should I tell my children I have cancer?
General Principles
Young Children
Teens & Pre-teens

What if my partner and I disagree on what to tell the children?
General Principles



What do I tell my children?
General Principles
Young Children
Pre-teens
Teens

Should I use the word "cancer"?
General Principles
Young Children
Teens & Pre-teens

How specific should I be, and do I tell them everything?
General Principles
Young Children
Pre-teens
Teens

Do I tell them I could die?
General Principles
Young Children
Pre-teens
Teens

Should I share my fears with my children?
General Principles
Young Children
Pre-teens
Teens

What does it mean if they ask questions I’ve already answered?
General Principles
Young Children
Pre-teens
Teens

When is the best time to talk to my children about my diagnosis?
General Principles
Young Children
Pre-teens
Teens

Who should tell them?
General Principles

Should my partner and I talk together with my children?
General Principles

How do I explain what cancer is?
General Principles
Young Children
Pre-teens
Teens

How do I explain cancer treatments?
General Principles

What if I can’t answer my children’s questions?
General Principles



Should I tell others?
General Principles

Should I tell my children’s teachers?
General Principles
Young Children
Teens & Pre-teens

Should I tell the parents of my children’s friends?
General Principles

What if my children don’t want me to tell others?
General Principles